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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27751582">Absinthe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChilledLime/pseuds/ChilledLime'>ChilledLime</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CrankGameplays - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bartender! Ethan, Getting Back Together, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:47:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27751582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChilledLime/pseuds/ChilledLime</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Artemisia absinthium (Wormwood)<br/>A state or source of bitterness or grief. </p><p>-</p><p>Mark tries to fix things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Absinthe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>re-upload, didn't like some things so I changed em<br/>if you saw the old version no you didn't :]</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mark eyed the clock, squinting to see the time better through the dim lights of the bar. It hummed with energy, and the sounds of patrons talking became background noise to his thoughts a while ago. He hadn’t been there for very long, maybe about 15 minutes. But it was better to be early than late - he supposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The raven-haired man sipped on the diet coke that he had been nursing for the time, eyes kept being drawn back to that damned clock. </span>
  <em>
    <span>5 minutes. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was practically counting the seconds down. Mark </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see him again. The dull ache of his heart was becoming too much to bear, a forgotten whisper he had tried so hard to forget. But the sound of his voice, the memories of his touch, they taunted him like an angry spirit. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>2 minutes. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Grasping the now warm can, Mark stood up gracefully and pushed in the chair, striding over to the bar. He found a worn down seat, far enough from the other inhabitants that he was comfortable. Sitting himself back down, he set the soda with a sigh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>30 seconds. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He only felt a little creepy, doing this. But he had to try. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it was. The unfamiliar bartender retreated into the back room, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>came out a moment later. Mark’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of him - he looked just as good as the last he had seen him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Brunette hair swooped tastefully off of his forehead, with a small silver earring in one of his ears. The dark brown of the vest complemented his eyes, and the familiar bartender wear fit him well. His eyes didn’t shine with the brightness Mark used to know - but he also knew that Ethan wasn’t the most fond of his job. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mouth went dry, and he swallowed. His heart was thumping in his chest, and he could faintly hear it in his ears. But to his credit, he was only re-thinking his plan a little bit. Mark’s leg bounced softly against the side of the bar, knee knocking into the wood every few times. He knew the second he was recognized. The dull indifference in Ethan’s eyes changed to something more unreadable, and he had to fight his brain on not overthinking it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” The raven-haired breathed out, knowing the other wouldn’t hear him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark didn’t call him over - he wasn’t in the mood for a death sentence. He finished off the soda quickly enough, and sat it close enough to the other edge that Ethan would get the message that it was empty, along with a $5 bill next to it. No longer focused on the clock, he stared at the wood grain top of the bar, tracing patterns out with his fingertip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually though, he came over. Mark looked up, hopeful eyes meeting tired ones. “Hey.” He repeated, eyes flickering away from the other’s gaze. “Another soda, right?” Ethan didn’t sound happy, the younger boy tapping his hands impatiently against the bar. “Yes, please.” He took the empty can and whisked it away, bringing back a new one momentarily. “Here.” His voice was emotionless, cracking it open and leaving it in the same spot the other used to be. And then he was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The older man sighed, taking a long sip from the soda. He tried not to stare as Ethan effortlessly went through the motions, mixing up drinks and serving patrons as he had done so many times before. The rhythm of it was almost mesmerizing, but Mark forced himself to look away. It was rude to stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” A voice drew him from his thoughts, and he looked to the boy in front of him. He could almost smell the familiar cologne, from how close he was. “Why are you here?” Ethan’s lips were drawn into a tight line, arms crossed defensively in front of him. Mark knew there was no use in lying - the other could read him like a picture book. (And he used to be able to read Ethan the same, but now he wasn’t so sure) “I wanted to see you,” He admitted, letting one hand fall over the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ethan scoffed, and turned his back to the other. “Don’t say that like I care, Mark.” His name was spit with both venom and ease, having repeated it a million times before. The younger boy stalked away without another word, leaving Mark with the same heavy feeling in his heart. It was his fault things had ended, the guilt still haunting him to that day. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No no no, Eth! I swear- It isn’t what it looks like, please-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was back, like a moth drawn to a flame. Standing in front of Mark, like he was expecting the other to say something. The raven-haired man had been staring at the arcade games in the corner, train of thought having gotten to the recent video games he’d played. Jumping at the opportunity, he spoke. “How have you been, l-” The pet name almost slipped out, a habit yet broken. “-Ethan.” And he knew Ethan had known what was almost said, judging by the stiffness in his shoulders and brows pressed against eyelids. “I’ve been fine.” The other paused, and seemed to be considering something. “What about you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark smiled a bit, twisting his hands together. “Well enough.” They both knew that wasn’t true, but the younger boy accepted the lie. He gave Mark another indecipherable look, before leaving once more. The older man took another sip of the soda, sighing to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ethan, please- Listen to me! I love you, I would never-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The words Mark had once spoken, pleaded, begged; circled around his head. But there really was no excuse, was there? Even though he hadn’t really realized what it was (and he knew he was clueless, but really??) He still </span>
  <em>
    <span>let </span>
  </em>
  <span>her take him out, and had brushed off her touchy-ness as just being friendly. Why he didn’t agree to Ethan going with him, he had no idea. His hands tightened their grip on each other, and his jaw clenched. He was past crying, left only with residual anger (at himself) and regret. He had lost his other half, his hyacinth-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The love of his life. And he only had himself to blame. Here he was now, trying so desperately to fix what had been broken; after trying so hard to stay away. Mark squeezed his eyes shut, regaining control over his emotions. He could still try. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Ethan for a while longer, before finishing off the second can and leaving it and another tip in the same spot. And soon enough, the younger boy was back. Pocketing the $5, he took the can and glanced at Mark. “You want something different?” He could probably tell that Mark was restless, and was giving him an out. “Yeah- jus’ a water, please.” The other nodded, bringing it back in the same motion as before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Surprisingly though, he stayed near Mark; mixing up a drink only a foot or so away. “You can talk, y’know.” Ethan huffed as he worked, sliding it down to whoever had ordered it. “If you want me to,” Mark shrugged, “I just. I told you, I missed seeing you.” The other made the same face as before, but didn’t respond as coldly. “Well, if it makes any difference- I missed Chica.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mark couldn’t help but laugh, and sure enough a smile flickered on Ethan’s lips. “Makes sense, she was always your favorite.” “Damn right she was,” The younger boy hummed, walking away and returning to begin another drink. Mark wasn’t sure why he was staying close by, but wasn’t going to bite the hand that fed him; so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A comfortable silence fell over them, Ethan working and Mark watching. It would’ve been creepy, if the other didn’t seem to enjoy it. “What’ve you been up to, really?” Ethan asked, seeming more interested in talking than before. The older man half-heartedly shrugged, “Really, it hasn’t been much. Work, mostly. Easy enough to lose myself in it, I guess.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking to Ethan was just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>easy, </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was hard not to let more personal details slip. He was reminded of when the other would come home from a long night, making Mark his own personal teddy bear as he grumbled about work. He would eventually have to carry Ethan to bed when he got sleepy, but he never minded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The memory stung, and he let his voice trail off. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I, uh- sorry. How’s Katherine been?” He eagerly changed the subject to something that wouldn’t make him ache as much. The boy momentarily glanced at him, giving a look of annoyance. “She’s been fine.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Because yeah, he had to move back in with her after the incident. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ethan moved away, Mark watching him go with a defeated expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They danced around each other like that throughout the night, always ending sourly for a while before one came back to the other. A horrible thing - a routine with no end. But something had to break. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ethan was leaning against the bar, laughing at a frankly horrible joke Mark had made. Something about the way his face softened for a moment, or how he didn’t look at Mark with disdain - the older man was reaching the end of the rope. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I miss you.” He repeated, and the younger boy instinctually stepped back out of Mark’s space. “I know.” There was no emotion in Ethan’s reply, and he went to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>again. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“No, wait-” He turned back around, now was his chance, </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t fuck it up. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I- uh, I tried to find someone else for a while,” The other’s jaw tightened. “But they’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Eth. And I know I messed up, but please if I could just explain-” Mark was rehashing old words, spoken in the same pleading tone as the last time. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“If I could just explain-” Ethan flinched. He had heard that before, and he felt like he was listening to a broken record. “Don’t, Mark. Stop talking. Because I swear, if you say another goddamn</span>
  <em>
    <span> word</span>
  </em>
  <span> I will slap you. And I’ll probably get fired.” He glared daggers at the other, huffing out a final “Leave. I’ve had enough of this.” before going to the other end of the bar. The boy didn’t dare look behind him to see if Mark had listened, instead trying to lose his mind in the autonomous work of making drinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The </span>
  <em>
    <span>nerve </span>
  </em>
  <span>of Mark, to come here when he knows he’s on shift, only to try again to explain himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There was no explaining that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The sight had made Ethan feel sick, when he saw it. His supposed</span>
  <em>
    <span> boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span> on a date with some random chick? With her hanging off of his arm, him laughing, when she </span>
  <em>
    <span>reached up to- </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was all he had to see, storming out and ignoring the other’s cries; going to what was once their shared home and packing a bag. He had showed up at Katherine’s door, tears in his eyes as he babbled about what had happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so, he was staying with her while he looked for a place of his own. Ethan was just trying to get by. Seeing his ex was like a knife through the heart, but his resistance was futile. Even then, he still ended up talking to Mark, </span>
  <em>
    <span>laughing with Mark; </span>
  </em>
  <span>like nothing had happened. His grip tightened around the cocktail shaker. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inevitably though, he did have to go to Mark’s end of the bar. And to his annoyance - the other was </span>
  <em>
    <span>still there. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ethan cursed under his breath, but went over to give him a refill anyway (he was a good bartender after all) Mark had said something, but he wasn’t listening as he swooped the empty glass and tip away, filling the former up with more water and returning it; before leaving again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he didn’t manage to forget that Mark was probably still there, only a yard or so away - Ethan pushed it to the very back of his mind so he could be competent while he worked. As he scanned the patrons sitting around through the work-induced haze in his brain, he noticed there was an empty seat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Finally. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Going back over to where Mark used to be, he picked up the glass and took the final tip; almost missing the small torn sheet of a napkin next to it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ethan, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to talk to you more about us, if you’ll let me. I’ll be at the Midnight Café nearby if you want to join me after your shift. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Best, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mark. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was scribbled hastily, and the pen had started to run out halfway through - but it still brought something like a smile to Ethan’s face. (It was charming, okay? He wasn’t actually going to go.) He put the note in his pocket, and cleaned out the glass with a cloth. The fact Mark actually offered was a bit absurd, why would he actually expect Ethan to go? After what happened? Hell no. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The hours ticked by, and the boy retreated into his head as he served drinks, made drinks, repeat. It was terribly mind-numbing, but the pay was almost worth it. The note Mark had left, though weighing practically nothing - felt like a stone in his pocket; ever present. It wouldn’t leave Ethan’s mind, no matter how hard he tried to think about anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he would take Mark up on his offer, after all. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ethan looked to the door marked </span>
  <b>Employees Only</b>
  <span>, and watched as his coworker walked through. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wonderful. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He gratefully set down the cup he was cleaning, retreating into the room and exiting out through the backdoor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand found the paper in his pocket, and he took it out to re-read it. The boy bit his lip, looking up at the dark sky. It wouldn’t hurt, right? If Mark tried anything he could just leave. But he knew that the other wouldn’t do anything besides talk. Even now, Ethan still had that base level of trust for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting the note back and taking out his keys, he walked over to his car; getting in and starting it. Thankfully the traffic at that hour wasn’t as soul-crushing as in the day, and he might actually be at the café in a reasonable amount of time. He looked up the name of the place, putting it in google maps and turning up the volume. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t too far away, which made sense. Mark lived a lot closer to the bar than he did (a perk he had when living with him) and probably wouldn’t want to drive to a café all the way on the other side of town. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled up into a street parking space, taking a look at the building. It looked modern (as did most things in L.A.) and only had a few people inside, though Ethan couldn’t spot Mark from the street. The boy got out and locked his car, going inside and looking around. Eventually he did find his person of interest, sitting at a corner table on his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mark might not have actually expected him to come. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ethan swallowed, striding over and taking the empty seat across from the other. “Oh, hey!” The older man looked up with a smile, pocketing his phone. “I’m sorry, part of me didn’t think you’d even show up.” He laughed nervously, scratching the palm of his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bit back an </span>
  <em>
    <span>I almost didn’t, </span>
  </em>
  <span>instead nodding to what Mark had said. “So, uh- what more did you want to get into so badly you wanted me to be here?” Ethan crossed his legs under the table, resting his elbows against the top. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, yeah- I’d like to explain it? And since you’re here, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>assuming </span>
  </em>
  <span>that’s okay. Yes?” The younger boy raised an eyebrow before replying, “Yes.” “Thank you,” Mark gave him a sad look, and he almost looked as defeated as he did at the bar. “So, I didn’t uh- I didn’t realize it was supposed to be a date.” Ethan looked on skeptically. “And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>that sounds bad, and I know I should’ve let you come with me too.. Because you would’ve seen it for what it was. But I swear, Eth, if I had known what it was I wouldn’t have agreed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ethan hummed, an acknowledgement that he was listening; but said nothing more. “And I </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do something, but it was all spiraling out of control so fast; and then you were there. I didn’t.. I should’ve expected you to come check on me, after I didn’t answer your texts for hours. A-And, yeah. I think that’s it? Uh- but yeah,” Mark stared at the floor, voice cracking more and more as he went along. “I miss you, so much, Eth. And I’m really sorry.” The older man swallowed, and it almost looked like he was about to cry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt his resolve crack a little - but he was determined not to give in so easily. "You </span>
  <em>
    <span>still let it happen!" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ethan tried to keep his voice low so he didn't disturb the few other people inside. "And I-I-" Now he felt close to crying. He grimaced, "I don't- I don't know. I just," The boy ran fingers through his hair with a hitched breath, trying to calm himself down. "I see it. When I close my eyes, when I try to sleep- all I can see is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" He sniffled. "It broke me, Mark." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other looked like he was going to reach out, to comfort him; but he stopped. "I know, Eth." He whispered, finding Ethan's shoe under the table and pressing it against his. "And I'm </span>
  <em>
    <span>so sorry, </span>
  </em>
  <span>I should've stopped it sooner. And I'm sorry for trying to find.. Strangers, to get you out of my mind." Mark swallowed. "It never worked. I always end up thinking about you, Eth; I love you. Please, can we try again?" That pleading tone, it scraped and crumbled everything he had been trying so hard to keep up. He could never stay mad at Mark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ethan let out a shaky sigh, finding Mark's hand and grasping it tightly. “Okay,” “Okay?” “Okay.” The older man nodded, running his thumb over Ethan’s knuckles. “Thank you, Eth.” He looked at him lovingly for a moment before adding, “We can go as slow as you’d like.” The boy squeezed his hand back in acknowledgment, watching as Mark’s hand trailed over his skin. Ethan was still somewhat hesitant, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>he had missed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ready to get out of here?” He asked after a minute of silence. “Yeah, my place?” Ethan nodded. “Good.. You can drive, please? I uh- I walked here.” Mark scratched the back of his neck in shame, looking anywhere but at Ethan. “Seriously man?” The other laughed, “Just for me?” “Just for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked out of the cafe, as close together as they could without being excessive with PDA. Outside, Ethan had pulled Mark close and pecked his lips; muttering a: </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’ll get more later </span>
  </em>
  <span>before getting into his car. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he knew they’d be okay. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>a bit cliche but meh<br/>I had fun writing it</p></blockquote></div></div>
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